Incite Full

Yeah, I said it.

Before you go crazy on me, let me explain. This is purely scientific. And, to be honest, the girl is inconsequential to my plan. What I want to confirm are the targeted ads on facebook. I’ve had everything now from Big Beautiful Women, to single 24 year olds, and now single men. And it needs to stop.

The handbags are coming soon, i just know it. And I need them to stay away.

Ok, that’s all a joke.

I went out last night with pretty much everyone. It was a lot of fun and i’m really tired this morning. there is no yadda yadda yadda in there. Ok, lets be serious for a moment. I feel like my head is a gallon of sand right now, and it sounds like swimmer’s ear every time i shift from left to right. my stomach is on fire from a burrito that never even burned my lips, and all i want to do is sleep. God that sounds good.

But I’ll endure, and that’s good enough for me.

On a funnier note, I was almost stabbed walking down the street the other day. It was because, apparently, I was unbottoning my shirt when this car full of gang member’s rove by and they thought i was “steppin’,” which I assure you I was not. These guys got out of their car and started telling me that this was “pasadena, essay” and while i was curious to know why he was calling me a homework assignment, I was more preoccupied by the fact he was reaching under his shirt for something. Knife, gun, hairy sweat- I’m not sure, but we were pretty confident it was a knife.

In retrospect, I thought this guy didn’t want to fight at all. But jordan made a good point. You don’t pull over out of your car and get out if you don’t intend to fight. I am lucky to not have been roughed up a little. But do you know who would have been safe? Dan. Dan was like casper when this whole thing went down. He disappeared right away and only when it was safe did tis effer appear and lead us to his car. Good show dan, that’s ridiculous.

Leson learned, don’t unbotton your shirt in oldtown, less you want to start a gang war.

“Nothing begins, and nothing ends, That is not paid with moan; For we are born in others pain And perish in our own.”

Aside from an insatiable craving for peanuts as of late, I’ve been in a rather pensive mood. Unfortunately, it’s pensiveness about nothing particular, which leads me into deep thoughts about nonsensical topics. While entertaining for you, I actually manage to convince myself of certain things that have no bearing on anything, but now I hold an unbudging opinion on them.

Take for example dishwasher loading. Aside from the fact that my roommate can’t, for the life of her, put Tupperware in the correct way (i open the drawers and I have buckets full of water), there is definitely an art to loading the dishwasher. It’s like practical tetris- things fit certain ways, and it doesn’t make sense with certain configurations.

Growing up, one of my biggest pet peeves (and still is) occurred when someone would load the small dishes to the sides of the silverware caddy. An interesting not, it’s called silverware, obviously because it was originally made of silver (go Ag!), but it was made of silver because it prevented bacteria growth or staved off disease. I can’t remember which exactly. Anyways, what the hell kind of configuration is that? We have limited room for large items in the washer, and you’re going to blatantly throw a small plate in there and fuck up the Feng Shui of my load? Ugh.

I’ve also turned my logic to facebook. The relationship status should have one of two features. One would be like the status, fill it in however you like. Mike is looking for “someone to treat his heart like a piñata” or Mike is looking for “the next ex-mrs.-gangl”. The possibilities are limitless, obviously. Another way would be to define what I don’t want. Mike is not looking for “a facebook stalker.” Mike is not looking for “a girl with an ugly Mom.”

This is why I should be on the FB development team- I know what the people want even before they do. Give it time.

“Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome, backup son, gimme room, gimme room!”