Incite Full

I’m watching Tosh.0 right now, so if his post is a little… distracted that’s why.

This morning I was talking with some co-workers about things people used to do, say, 50 years ago, that today we just can’t comprehend. Some examples were really physical, like talking to an operator before making a call, or simply the party line in general. Others were more mental, like cold war era fears, or fear of banks running out of money (run on banks). That last one might actually be coming back, interestingly enough.

But then we were thinking, what do we do today, or how do we think now that will change in 50 or 100 years? And that’s a really interesting way of looking at the world, you also see a lot of bias coming through in where we think and want the world to go.

50 years from now, gays and lesbians will be able to get married and be afforded the same rights as any other couple in love. They will also have the same problems as married couples today, such as divorce and infidelity. It’s hard for me to imagine why this isn’t happening today- it’s similar to women’s suffrage and the civil rights movement of the 60s and 70s, only the segregation and homophobia isn’t written outside restaurants or creating separate water fountains.

50 years from now, our children will be dumbfounded that not every person had health care until… whenever it finally happens. We are one of the leading nations in the world in so many things, we have great universities, hundreds of Nobel prize winners, we are an insanely successful democracy, and yet, the wealth gap is ever increasing and we can’t guarantee care for all of our residents. Sure, people can walk into an emergency room, but we’d rather subsidize corn growth than preventative care. Don’t even get me started on obesity, corn syrup, and all that jazz.

50, maybe 100, years from now, we won’t have gasoline fueled cars. This one is pretty self explanatory, but we can’t sustain our oil addiction. And we’re not getting off of it because it’s the right thing to do or to save the environment, but because the oil won’t be around or will be ungodly expensive. Either way, it’s good to get off of it. My next car will probably be a hybrid or even n electric, depending on how advanced the technology gets.

In 50 years, paper books will be abnormal. They will still exist, but the majority of everything will be online. Maybe color e-ink or more iPad like devices floating through out the world. Most people will connect to the internet through their phones, and hand held media will reign supreme. This is not limited to books, digital media will supplant physical media for most everything. Even now how records are still sold, physical media will still exist, but it’ll be more of a “purist” obsession, than a philistine rejection.

In 50 years,I doubt we’ll have the physical phone book. Why we have them today is beyond me, static directories and the static advertising within them is unusable. We don’t want to guess what plumber or pizza place to order from, we want to be told what is good and what we should try and order from them. The only winner in the phone book advertising are the major chains.

I think cash will still exist in 50 years, but probably not after 100 years. There is a large difficulty in overcoming physical money, what to do with it, how to account for it, and there has to be some time line for getting rid of it- it won’t be a “money will expire in ‘X’ years.” I do see us moving to all digital currency, but the thought of the phone companies being charge of that with these upcoming near field transaction chips terrifies me. Who would you trust with this technology, and what sort of mechanisms will we carry around to facilitate them.

Some interesting ones I’ve seen around the net:

http://www.dailyblogged.com/41/things-that-wont-exist-in-the-future/ No landlines, kind of obvious to me, but worth repeating, especially if you want to freak out your grandma.

The mail. I’m really not sure about this one, especially at 50 years. Maybe 100- wedding invitations, important documents, passports (does that make the list?), and other physical items need to get from A to B at some point, mail seems to be the only real mechanism for doing this. I saw this on multiple, random message boards.

While I’m sure there are others, I think this is a good list to mull over, there are other things, sadly, that I wish wouldn’t exist in the future but I don’t think human nature can outrun things like famine and disease, poverty, racism, or other strong, emotional flashpoints.

Wow, did you see that game? The NCAA Men’s championship game, between Butler and UConn was hands down one of the worst games I’ve ever watched. Don’t get me wrong- the kids played their hearts out, and they put every ounce of effort into the game that they had. For UConn it was 2 heavy weight bouts that they won- one by knock out in the Big East tournament, and the other, a sloppy decision after 12 rounds in Butler.

Butler, on the other hand, did the unthinkable- back to back final runs for a mid major. If the game was played by hearts alone, Butler hands down wins this one going away. I’m not going to lie, with all the shadiness surrounding Connecticut, I was hoping for a Bulldog win. That has nothing to do with the kids playing for the Huskies, but it’s something I can’t forget- and Yes, I am a USC trojan. I don’t freak out when kids take money, or boosters slip a kid fifty bucks after a game, but coaches acting, lying, and just breaking just about every rule in the book is something I actively cheer against. See Ohio State.

The game, though, was really the culmination of an interesting year in NCAA Basketball, and a few years of the infamous “And One” rule. Players being forced to play a year in college before going pro might be exciting, but they are essentially mercenaries hired to win a championship. The past few years we’ve seen senior heavy teams, the likes of Butler and VCU make valiant charges into the late rounds of the tournament only to lose in heartbreaking fashion. Last year Butler had NBA Talent, this year- not so much. And we’re seeing a lot of this, good, solid teams without that wow player beating teams that don’t have the chemistry to compete in those pressure situations.

But don’t believe that upsets are good basketball- they may be exciting, but it’s only great basketball when some storybook ending or amazing play elevates the Cinderella to titanic heights, not when erratic shooting meets sloppy turnovers and a dozen charges. And the thing is, they almost has us fooled. We almost bought into the magical season of this tournament, and all the upsets and spectacles- the Mooreheads and the Rams.

Again, this is not about the players on the court, but the system that put them there. The system that hung them out to dry with fatigue and inexperience. It’s a shame that it happened on a night when everyone is watching. Bill Simmons was not terribly far off when he said that Women’s basketball caught up. Not sure I believe him, but I do believe the most explosive and dominant player in college basketball, wears number 24 for UConn.

Today, at Starbucks, I met Brian Wilson. Oh, you don’t know who Brian Wilson is? Maybe you know his beard:

No, it’s not King Leonidas, but he may as well be. Brian Wilson is the closer for the San Francisco Giants. They are in town playing the Dodgers, but Pasadena isn’t really near their Los Angeles hotel. But regardless, I was surprised by just how cool of a guy he is.

I was was walking down California, on the phone with my dad, when I arrived at the Starbucks on the corner. I was standing outside, wrapping up my conversation when I saw a giant, hulking man walking towards he coffee shop with a small, khaki clad kid in an over-sized white polo. I told my dad that I thought it was Brian Wilson, and reminded my dad of the “the guy with the beard” from the World Series. He immediately remembered and I told my dad I wanted to go, and see if it as indeed him. My was fine with this, but when on and on before letting me go- normally I’m fine with this, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to meet this guy.

After he hung up, I am ashamed to say, I ran-walked to the door and went in. At first I saw khakis hanging out, then I saw BW grabbing his coffee from the counter. I ish I had heard the name called, to see if he was trying to go under the radar, but I missed out on that. I looked at him, and he looked like a guy who’s been recognized a million times before. I asked if he was Brian Wilson, and he said he as actually his brother.

To be honest, I pretty much believed him, but before I could look like a jackass, he said no, it was him. I am sure I was gushing at that point, but I shook his hand right away and told him, immediately, that my friend, Alex, was a huge Giants fan and was going to die when I told him I met him. I also think I told him that Alex loved him, too, but I think that guy, in particular,  gets it a lot.

I then went completely amateur and asked if I could take a picture of him. He looked really annoyed at that point, but said sure, and I took a quick one of him making his coffee.

Built for speed, like me

He must have thought I was filming because he went straight up into Brian Wilson mode, and started describing his coffee making. “It’s  red-eye, which means… a single shot? It’s built for speed,” looking dead into the camera, “like me.” Which, obviously, is where this post title comes from.

I don’t meet a whole lot of celebrities. In fact, I think I’ve met maybe 4-5  athletes outside of sports stadiums/games- and I’m referring to famous athletes. I still have an autograph from Don Davey, but I doubt most people will have any idea who that guy is.

Or maybe I have met a few, but I never recognize them because it’s usually something I don’t really care about. But sports figures? I’m all over that.

And what was probably the most surprising is how cool the guy was. He was obviously getting coffee- a red-eye no less- because he just needed to wake up. Hell, he probably came to Pasadena in order to avoid running into someone who might give him away. I can understand that completely, but he also understands that celebrity is a full time job, and I’m just some guy who’s seen him on TV, winning championships, no less, and it made my day to see him.

I guess I’ve been jaded by all of the reports of asshole athletes out there, or guys getting drunk in bars and causing trouble, that it was refreshing to see a guy who was fine with me taking a quick pic. Hell, maybe he goes out and causes fights and trouble of all sorts, but I know he’s got his cool side to him also, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. Between this and the ridiculousness of most Dodger fans, I think I’m turning into a Giants fan- too bad everyone will think  I’m doing this because they won a world series.

Are you kidding me? I’m a Packer’s fan, and until this year, I had to deal with Brett Favre and also Colin Cowherd calling “my” QB  overrated for not having won a playoff game.  I like the Brewers, Seahawks, and I would love the Supersonics if they still existed.  I generally like teams with no chance of winning championships, so it’s beyond that.

The guy was cool, and hey, maybe if he ever searches his name, and clicks through the thousands of links before mine shows up, he’ll feel the same amount of satisfaction seeing this here, that I did meeting him. I wish Alex had been there to meet him, but even though he wasn’t, I’m still using it as my birthday gift to him for the next five years.

Based on the title of this post, you might be surprised to see it get published. I mean, what are the odds that this is the perfect post? Slim to none, if I was to be honest about it.

I read a post over at Get Rich slowly, one of my favorite blogs, and it had to do with perfectionism and the all-or-nothing mindset. It explains perfectionist can be paralyzed with fear- fear of failure, fear of success, or something else entirely. It can lead to procrastination, self-deprecation, and even the inability to start something one might not do well. In this unhealthy form, it’s known as maladaptive perfection. Some of the comments on the entry point out that perfectionism is not always bad- in some cases it is quite good, such as the all-start athlete, the top chef’s in the world, and artists who become obsessed with their work. I am not one of those people, however, so I’ll focus on the more negative forms. Ironically,  that’s how it affects me.

I’m a maladaptive perfectionist; it manifests itself in some random areas, as well as more obvious places.

At work, I do some things that are rather ho-hum and straight forward. These are easy enough to accomplish, and there isn’t really a whole lot of thought involved with some of them- well, new thought I should say. I still need to go over some decisions and pick which method works best for the given problem, but nothing like “this has never been done before… where do I start”? All of this is doable, and I do it pretty well.

On the other hand, my job no has a lot of areas where I venture into the unknown, and I have to get certain things done and working. These are where I have issues. When something is difficult to do, and I don’t know the right way to go about getting it done, often times I’ll freeze, and it’ll take me a long while to understand what I need to do, and sometimes I’ll put it off until I simply have to get it done. I at least have that going for me, my fear of being seen as a failure is even greater than my fear of failure.

But it’s not simply work that stresses me out- it can be almost comical the way it affects me.

If you’ve been in my apartment bedroom, you’ll notice the blue shitty paint job on the wall. This is one of those times where I thought I could paint, did it, and it ended up being kind of sloppy. I still have some left to do, but I simply can’t convince myself that I should do it, because it’s going to be terrible again. When i can’t even do something I know I should do, well we have a problem, don’t we?

Another example comes when I baked a cake for a friend a couple of weeks ago, and it didn’t come out as well as I’d hope. I still gave it to her, but I was extremely embarrassed. Again, the only reason I gave it to her was that I promised her one, and felt that failing on that was bigger than failing on the cake. Maybe that’s true, but I’m pretty sure i would have thrown that sucker out if it wasn’t for my promise. Hell, when people were about to eat it, I made fun of it before hand, telling people “it looks like shit, and probably doesn’t taste much better… you’ve been warned”.

The cake scenario above illustrates one of the more pathological issues- I deprecate my work and myself to excuse it’s lack of success. More often than not this is internal- the way i think about myself and feel about myself suffers from each and every failure, however small, to the point where I simply don’t want to try anything at which I might fail.

It’s fairly obvious to see where this can lead to other problems: self-esteem, anxiety, depression are all common- not that I suffer from all of these or anything, but some people do. I’m more of the self deprecating type as i’ve mentioned. But I procrastinate tasks when i’m not sure how to do them, and I’m also apt to downplay the importance of things i’m not too good at, or excusing my lack of ability by some other means.

A great quote from the wikipedia article explains, “perfectionism is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities”. This is the scary part- my work is affected by these tendencies to the point where my productive effort is cyclical- sometimes i’m not very productive, other times (usually near deadlines) I’m very productive, and work more than I should, or is healthy- also marked by my inability to “shut off” from my tasks, although i’m not so sure this is a result of my perfectionism or, as I suspect, something else.

So, how do I get over this? It would be easy to imagine getting over this as a mountain, and part of me would see it as an entire task to accomplish. What I have read, though, is that you need to make small, manageable goals in order to over come these things. Make a goal step one of that mountain, then goal two 3 steps, and so on. Build it up- baby steps, if you will. I’m not sure if it’ll work, and I’m almost certain i’ve tried it before, but hey, a new year means a fresh start, maybe this will work.

If not, i’ll pretend like I never tried.

Part of my problem is that I get swept up in something very quickly, but just as quickly, that excitement turns to apathy and it quickly dies. This Blog is a great example, I get excited about writing in it, do it for a few days, and then I fall off the earth. Part of it is I make these big plans- I’m going to write an entry every day, or every other day! and then I realize I don’t have anything to say, or I’m too tired to write (which is really just an excuse).

What I want it to be is a more self directed approach. Something that I do, not because I like the idea of doing it, or because it fits some bigger picture, but because I want to do it. Writing is a process, it’s very zen like in the fact that simply writing enables you to do many other things- write about your emotions, understand your feeling, feel some catharsis, or let out all of that pent up anger/love/happiness/sadness.  Some people even make money from it.

I get this same feeling at work, where I want to do so many things, and get excited about what things can or might be, but then it’s hard to sustain that emotion. Not feeling that emotion isn’t an option- it’s hard to get up for things you don’t feel strongly about. So what can I do to get over that hump? How can I stop thinking about the grandeur of everything and just do it. Just embrace the process and not the goal- it’s very difficult for a person like me, who defines goals and attributes success and failure to meeting or missing them.

The problem is when I think about it in terms of failing or succeeding, you’re no longer writing words or what you’re thinking, but every word is a step towards success or failure. And when the stakes are that high, it’s much easier to not do them and avoid the entire judgment of the process, even if that’s all coming from self criticism (the harshest kind).

Le sigh, I’ll keep thinking about it and get back to you (me).