Archive for October, 2008

Poultry Zombies

Posted by Mike on Oct 26 2008 | Life of Mike

It’s been a while since I cooked something new. Of course, even when cooking the same old things, I rarely use the same recipe twice. Things are always thrown in or tossed out, based on what i have handy or what i feel like at the time. It’s a nice creative outlet for me.

Right now, i’ve got a chicken roasting in the oven, and I hope it’s absolutely delicious. It was originally supposed to be a sage roasted chicken, but the store didn’t have any of it, so i had to make due with some garlic and thyme. I’m pretty sure it will be fine, but it’s always a bit of a crap shoot to be honest. Although thyme+chicken+garlic is a pretty standard combination. I just hope that Italian Red Onion that I shoved up the bird will add a bit more earthiness to that bad boy.

Later tonight I might make some chocolate chip cookies, because i’ve wanted to cook a lot lately, and, well, they are damn tasty.

Apart from cooking, one thing that has been bugging me is the fact that people, upon being asked for scary movie recommendations, like to throw in “Aliens.” Alien is a horror movie, Aliens 3 is hardly a movie at all, but Aliens is an action movie. It’s a damn good action movie, but it’ still not horror. I suppose I can forgive people for this transgression because it’s not a big deal, and it does frighten people at times, but c’mon people- if aliens is what you think of when you want to see a scary movie…

Also, I’m very partial to undead/supernatural horror movies. Slasher movies, or movies with a human villain are generally too stupid or mind numbing to be good. Granted zombie movies aren’t the ground breaking or riveting experiences that they could be, but they are scarier.

I think the only slasher movie that I ever really enjoyed was Friday the 13th, with Jason vorhees mother being the killer- that was both a twist and a scary movie. Ever since, we’ve been given garbage like I know what you did last summer, etc etc. Scream was pretty much the only good slasher in the past decade, and that was mostly because it refused to take itself seriously.

The reason I’m discussing this is because I watched REC again, with friends, and everyone thought it was pretty scary. Dan actually jumped a few times, and jokes were kept to a minimum save for an awesome “that’s what she said” reference. Oh, and a paris hilton reference. But I implore anyone who might ever read this, see the movie. It scared the shit outta me when I watched it alone. Watch it, and realize that a movie doesn’t have to do anything new to scare you, it just has to do it well. And I don’t think any of it was off limits.

I’m rambling now, so i’ll let y’all go. But i need to see a few more scary movies- it really would make my day.

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Brutal Honesty

Posted by Mike on Oct 20 2008 | In All Seriousness, Life of Mike

Sometimes I’ll be writing, just a free write or something simlar, and i’ll stumble upon some feeling on which I want to hold. To grip with a vice, exhaust, and then further refine my own process to extricate every last little ounce of raw, unmined emotion from. Strip mining my soul can lead to some interesting things, however, and one of which I’d like to avoid- failure.

Not in the typical sense, however, of that doing poorly on a test, or letting down my friends- those are all terrible failures in their own right- but I’m talking about something which I find increasingly common amongst my friends: the idea of a 5 year plan for our lives.

While some of them differ, they generally consist of a career goal and a personal goal. Most often this personal goal is marriage, although not always. Mine, when I was young and more naive, was to be married at 26, and start a family soon afterwards. Not that same year, but soon after- maybe by the time I was 30. Professionally I wanted to be done with schooling by the age of 30 in order to pursue my career full time.

It doesn’t look like any of these two things are going to happen in the allotted time frames, unfortunately. While talking to a friend who recently got engaged, I realized that I was still far away from such a feat. It’s not that I’m not crazy about my girlfriend- I am, it’s the fact that you need to know that you can grow with a person, that you are excited to see the evolution of a relationship, and to know it’s a very Zen like experience, it’s not about the end of the relationship- it’s about the process of communication and sharing of emotion.

I know I’m not ready for that giant step simply by the mechanical way in which I describe it. I want to understand it, feel it, pursue it. I don’t know how to learn it. There are no books or manuals. There are no romantic comedies that point you in the right direction except for the general, “follow your heart” line that gets tossed out there so much.

Wow there is a lot I still have to learn.

About my education, I have a Masters, but I want another one. As much as I like the tech side of things, I feel my people skills and emotional intelligence are fine tuned enough to do much, much more with my life. I don’t take my other skills for granted, they serve me well for now, but I want to deal more with the people side of things, the big picture, and that will require more education. Getting another master’s within the next 5 years might be tough, but I’m willing to try.

Where failure comes in, sadly, is that I am not sure what the next step for either of them is. It’s taken me a while, even though I knew in the back of my head that it was true, to acknowledge these things. It’s a lot easier to live in denial of your true feelings, to shut off emotionally for one reason or another, or to try and convince yourself that it’s not what you want. I’ve definitely been there before, and that’s something that I’m already paying for and trying to deal with. I’d rather know my shortcomings, wants, desires, and fears and move forward.

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Scary Lazy

Posted by Mike on Oct 20 2008 | Life of Mike

I’m in a toss up on what exactly I should be writing about today. I had an awesome weekend, but received some bad news yesterday which is at the forefront of my thoughts. Even when I ignore it, it’s much like a battering ram at my psyche. Alternatively you could call this the “Lex The Impaler” of thoughts. Pounding away.

Don’t do a google search on that name if you are at work.

Anyways, while I’m not prepared to talk about said events, mostly due to their sensitive and timely nature- well, that and ease of google search making some people very upset with me, I’ll just move on.

I went to Magic Mountain the other day, for their “Fright Fest” celebration of Halloween. While the rides were standard fare, something irked me about one of them. It’s named  ”Scream,” but for no reason, really. the tag line was “Ride Out loud,” which confused me moreso because there was nothing loud or scream worthy, other than the fact that it is indeed a roller coaster. Honestly, you could have called the ride Popsicle mountain and that would have made as much sense. More if it’s cold out.

I don’t think any of my fellow riders shared my sense of indignation in this ride.

Other than that, they had these small haunted houses set up. Now, these were not very good, to be honest. They were more like jack in the box haunted houses- the toy, not the restaurant. With shit that is generally scary surrounding us, and then people jumping around corners. It wasn’t the costumes or ambience that really startled me, just a guy popping out making a loud noise. 

When did scary get so lazy?

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The Gangl Solves the Recycling Crisis

Posted by Mike on Oct 07 2008 | Life of Mike

A while ago, I wrote a post about recycling, and how screwed up the concept is- not the idea of recycling, but the inherent trust needed in people to want to recycle their goods, drive it to the center, and sort, all out of the generousity of their own hearts.

Well, in the words of Always Sunny, I’ve solved the recycling crisis. 

What are the issues with recycling today? As noted above, we cannot rely on people to spend their free time doing tedious work and menial labor for nothing. Truly, not recycling costs you money in the form of CRV. That is the California refund value, a small price you pay when purchasing recyclable goods (generally only beverages). For instance, on the 12-pack of cherry Coke Zero I just bought, a CRV of 60 cents was assessed. That, depending on the sale, is anywhere from 10-20% of the cost, added on. And don’t forget, I’m bank rolling dentists with my soda consumptions, too. This is tragic.

Now, recycling might cost even more money. It takes me about an hour in total to recycle everything I’ve got. Yes, that is a lot, no, it is not the point of this post. Where I recycle I don’t even receive money for my goods. This means I’m paying the CRV, “wasting” my time (without pay), and spending gas money, further destroying the environment. Trust me, I cannot walk all of my cans and bottles to the facility, especially because 760 cans, for every hour recycling, are needed in order to match my current working wage.

So, ingenious solutions are needed to both combat the recycling malaise, as well as get my refund back. And this is where a key demographic, ignored by politicians for years for lack of spending power come in: homeless people. When was the last time you saw a homeless person without a bag of cans or bottles? If you have, they have not been homeless very long, because this is the white collar work of homelessness. begging is blue collar, to be sure. Seriously, it’s like found money to them. If they ask you for change, you could simply hand them a can of coke and they’d be just as grateful. They’d have to be by how the rest of the world treats them. 

This will do wonders for our world. Instead of crossing the street to avoid homeless people, we will run to them, not with open arms, but with bottles and cans. No longer a blithe on society, they will become functional members once again. 

Of course, there is the issue of enticing non-recyclers to participate. This is why I also suggest we cut out the middle man. Namely, the non-recyclers. Here is the plan, and once it is stated no one can refute its obvious charm- simply throw your cans away. Think about it, you throw your cans away, maybe in a marked, green bag, or something similar, and you let it go. Never think about it again. We’ll pay, with the CRV, people to mull through the trash and take those cans and bottles to recycling stations. 

Since these machines are few and far between, it makes sense that we’d ask only a few individuals to bother recycling, instead of requesting everyone do this themselves. Besides, one person doing this job a lot more often is bound to become more efficient.

We’ve solved the issue of these items being recycled, and we’ve solved the state not getting a free donation from consumers. Now we need to get that money back to the consumer. The key to this plan is stated in this very paragraph: donations.

On your income tax, simply tally up your CRV that you’ve ‘donated’ to the state, and list it as a donation to those fine men, women, and children to whom you are giving your recyclables. Names are not necessary. The people doing the recycling are definitely not-for-profit, so the IRS will probably just lick the envelope and send your refund right away. If they do knock on your door, simply show them your receipts and tell them why it makes sense, because it does. 

If they further inquire, ask them why they are trying to keep homeless people on the streets and destroy the earth. Lines like “Don’t you care, man?” and “Why do you hate homeless people,” will work wonders here. 

With your help, we can solve the recycling crisis. Resist that urge to sort and recycle your own goods, and throw them the way. This is the only way we can possibly make a difference in the world.

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Friday Night Lights

Posted by Mike on Oct 03 2008 | Life of Mike, TV/Movies

I find it somewhat Ironic that i’m watching this show on a Friday night.

The show is as much about football as Happy Gilmore is about golf. And it’s what lets the script essentially write itself. Remember all those days in high school? Whether you were the jock or the popular kid, or the nerd or the shut in, this show remembers all those things for you, and then some.

The first time I watched the show was on my flight back from Europe- I finally gave it a chance after skipping over it numerous times on TV, either because I thought it was a cheesy knock off of a film, or had nothing that really interested me.

Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s the first show that I feel is 90210 for guys, or for anyone for that matter. Well acted and even better written, it tells the story of a high school football team from West Texas, but not so much about football as much as the affect football has on everyone in the town. Sure some parts a re a bit overdone, and the show takes a few episodes for the characters to fall into their roles, but when they fall, the dive head first and don’t come up for air until they’re bleeding blue and white Dillon Panthers.

The last thing I’ll say is that, at times, the show is emotionally wrenching. I feel like old school laundry being scraped against an emotional washing board. Other time’s you get a speach that inspires you, makes you wish you played football in school. And then tehre are the times you just want to throw a bottle of beer at the wall, a la Tim Riggins.

Seriously, just watch the show.

I’ll even link you to it…

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