Incite Full

I’m probably not living up to my potential yet, but I’m still having a good time. I’m probably one of the funnier people you know, but I would never really admit that. And, well, I think most of the people in the world are idiots.

Not a whole helluvalot. It’s one of the things that I struggle with. I think getting my Masters made my parents proud, but it’s just one of those things to me- I expected it of myself. To be honest, I’m not sure I’m proud of anything I’ve done. Maybe just proud of always challenging myself or something cliche like that. Shit this thing is already depressing.

I’m rarely serious. And I lie about stupid things from time to time. Other than that, I’m not too bad. A little messy, i’m sure.

Hmmm. Honesty, right? I don’t think I ever got over being fat. It’s not that I think i’m hideous, too many people tell me otherwise (fucking liars). But I’ll probably always be self conscious about it all, or think about it even when I shouldn’t. Hell sometimes I don’t even think people want to talk to me.

I’m an engineer at NASA’s JPL. Everyone seems more impressed with it than I do. It’s cool, but it’s just a job right now. Not my career.

I love my parents a great deal. So much I’m not going to try and qualify it at all. What is interesting, is that I feel my mom has lost touch with me now that I’ve moved away and she is teaching again. My dad has been closer and closer ever since that same day. Interesting to see it all happen, to be sure. Latley I’ve been thinking about how at one point in my life, and yours too, I realized my parents were not perfect, or were not always right. I know this is true, and maybe it’s unfair to expect it, but it’s hard to know this, and still feel you’re falling short of their expectations.

Wow. My brother, Mark, is great. He’s got a lot of potential, and I think he’s finally realizing it. I’m really proud of him, and look at him like the “cool kids at school.” My oldest brother Dave, I dunno. I want him to be successful, but I feel he keeps setting himself up not to be. He didn’t treat me very well as a kid, but I was almost too young to realize it, so I didn’t do much at all about it. As for Jean. Well, I feel lie she has a new family, and we’re not a part of it. I care about her and her family. I want her to be happy, but not at the price of my parents feeling like shit because of strained relationships.

Money is more important to me than it should be. I’m sure it’s because it was how love and appreciation were shown in my childhood. As such, it’s still important to me, but not nearly as much so now. I’ve been called cheap before, but trust me, I spend a lot of money on liquor. too much. Anyways- money is important and a good thing. But i think i blow it out of proportion- i don’t really separate myself from it at all.

Overall it was good. I learned a lot from my brothers and my friends about myself. Like how not to be taken advantage of, and how to get away with shit. I probably push the line a bit too much because of the advantages I had. There wer some shitty parts of my childhood, but i think I’ve made it past them. And, in fact, I’ve succeeded in spite of them. It’s why I get upset at some people.

This is easy. Fuck you if you blame the world for your own problems. Seriously? You control pretty much everything that happens to you. I don’t want to hear about special cases, because I know the exist, but you don’t need to tell me they are special. I can figure it out for myself. Also, Get your shit together and stop being afraid of things. If you’re too nervous or too apprehensive, you’re not going to get anywhere. Lastly, and only by virtue that i’m tired, is that you don’t deserve anything. Wander listlessly through life, thinking why you’re a failure or not getting paid millions on your own time, tehre are a million failures in every city. probably more. What are you doing to not be one of them. (I understand how you define failure is very much dependent)

With friends or watching movies. Maybe writing. I like equal times of being alone and being with other people- a nice balance.

randomly? I’d love to be an amazing chef or to have one talent that was just exceptional. I feel like i’m a jack of all trades, but not terribly great at any one thing. Secondly, aside from more wishes, I’d like my family to be ok- like, with what I said above, I want my family to get along and be the picture perfect type of family. Thirdly, I’m not sure. World peace would ruin the economy, so maybe, prosperity for most? Or how about the ability to turn off my brain on command? Ok, seriously, i’d go with being able to do anything I want, without consequence.

Those who blame outwardly. Ignorant and naive people. People who make excuses, and people who let me down.

Nothing. I bottle it up, generally. Now I write a bit, and I also cook. Generally pizzas are a good upset food. Althought kneading the fuck out of some Challah bread does make me tired as well.

Chuck Palahniuk. Banksy. Mr. Keogh.

That’s what she said. YOU are a _insert phrase_ .Sup red?

Hands on keyboard at a desk, or one arm over the back rest and looking mightily relaxed. It’s how I roll.

I’m generally pretty open, and hoping that they are not a douche. And it usually doesn’t happen, so why change?

I’ve got this accent from wisconsin- all my A sounds. I suppose some of my “on” sounds, as well, are fairly ridiculous.

It’s probably the best I feel. I like to be in the center of the room, of the attention, and I know this probably bugs a lot of people. But i can’t help it, I guess. It’s just who I am. And I’m pretty friendly and energetic so piss off. My answers seemed to have digressed a bit, and are not as wordy or passionate, but I’m fucking tired. Cut me some slack. I also apologize for the swearing in this post. It’s been a long, rough night.