Incite Full

Aside from an insatiable craving for peanuts as of late, I’ve been in a rather pensive mood. Unfortunately, it’s pensiveness about nothing particular, which leads me into deep thoughts about nonsensical topics. While entertaining for you, I actually manage to convince myself of certain things that have no bearing on anything, but now I hold an unbudging opinion on them.

Take for example dishwasher loading. Aside from the fact that my roommate can’t, for the life of her, put Tupperware in the correct way (i open the drawers and I have buckets full of water), there is definitely an art to loading the dishwasher. It’s like practical tetris- things fit certain ways, and it doesn’t make sense with certain configurations.

Growing up, one of my biggest pet peeves (and still is) occurred when someone would load the small dishes to the sides of the silverware caddy. An interesting not, it’s called silverware, obviously because it was originally made of silver (go Ag!), but it was made of silver because it prevented bacteria growth or staved off disease. I can’t remember which exactly. Anyways, what the hell kind of configuration is that? We have limited room for large items in the washer, and you’re going to blatantly throw a small plate in there and fuck up the Feng Shui of my load? Ugh.

I’ve also turned my logic to facebook. The relationship status should have one of two features. One would be like the status, fill it in however you like. Mike is looking for “someone to treat his heart like a piñata” or Mike is looking for “the next ex-mrs.-gangl”. The possibilities are limitless, obviously. Another way would be to define what I don’t want. Mike is not looking for “a facebook stalker.” Mike is not looking for “a girl with an ugly Mom.”

This is why I should be on the FB development team- I know what the people want even before they do. Give it time.

“Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome, backup son, gimme room, gimme room!”