Incite Full

So, it’s amazing what a little confidence can do. Mainly, breed more confidence. It’s been so long that since I actually went out with the intention of just having a good time that i had almost started thinking there was something wrong with me. Well we can scratch that one off right now. I did amazing things tonight- i crashed a bachelorette party, made some friends on a dance floor, and, well, a gentleman doesn’t tell what else … I normally wouldn’t write about something like this but it was just too much fun. Especially when other guys started to ask me how i did it.

Edit: I got a free lighter last night, which was tight. I alos told a girl she smelled amazing, and I’m pretty sure, walking through target today, she smelled like Downy fabric softener. In my defense, it does smell really good.

And what makes this even better is that Ronin is on right now.

What a great fucking night.

I heard a song on the radio that I thought was interesting the first time I used it, and for some reason, it was stuck in my head- normally I hate when that happens and the song becomes annoying. This one, though, i really enjoy. I’ve just listened to it about 4 times from this site. It’s called Handlebars, by the flobots. At a bar last night I accidentally kept calling them flomax, but I think they’ll be ok.

I went out to the bars last night and it was incredibly dead. We chatted up a few groups of people, and I think some girls will post a FB pic of me, but I don’t think i’ll ever see it- but that’s ok. It was fun getting out, but I’m hoping it doesn’t suck so much next time.

Facebook is incredibly dangerous.

I’m just browsing my news feed when I see things about people I haven’t seen in years- so I click. And nothing there is really shocking, all same old same old, until you see some random comment about something. And then, all of a sudden, you’re listening to a song that’s written about you. And you’re not sure it’s good.

Damn.

Like a breathing tube being pulled out, a mess of words I’d love to say come spilling out- although none of it comprehendable, or even vocal. Just mental verbiage I’m going through.

I’m not perfect, by any means, and I don’t think that saying anything about my past or past actions will have any affect- nor should they. Everyone is different now. But it’s just interesting to hear words or see a picture, and be transported back to some other time- It always happens when you think of “better” times. Truth be told, there are no better times. Just different times. I’ve learned a lot since the proverbial “then.” Whenever the hell that is. I don’t want to go back, and while these brief excursions into what could have been are fun and all, I get much more excited about what I’ll become, who I’ll meet, and where I’ll end up.

I was reading Choke the other day, and chuck describes sex as acquisition without the burden of possession. No matter how many women you take home, you never run out of room for them. This isn’t exactly a serious comment, but I digress. It’s a good reminder of the freedom that we all have to do whatever we want- good or bad. I was mad at someone recently for some random things- and I should have thought about it a bit more before I said certain things. I don’t regret saying them, they were true and emotional. But sometimes I need to tell myself that not everyone is like me- some people are afraid of things, other’s are foolish in the face of certain danger. And I’m still trying to figure out which one I am.

If JPL was smart, they’d give me a stipend to spend on music.

Hear me out- I work so much better with music- this is not a surprise. Studies have shown  the music not only enhances the aptitude of children, but there is a direct increase in my fastidiousness with regards to code and design, not to mention pure awesomness. I’ve spent that past 3 hours (at home, mind you) working on my project- and i think i would have murdered someone had i not had fork + knife, and Eddie Vedder to listen to.

Many of you have heard of Eddie Vedder, if not at least Pearl Jam. If you have not, stop reading now, you will not be entertained. Seriously, stop.

Ok, now that we are alone, I can talk a bit more freely.  Pearl Jam was one of those bands just making it big when i started getting into music. The fact that they have progressed and continued to make good music is quite amazing. If you want a counter example, take a gander at the Chili Peppers. Sure they have some good songs, but it’s the same thing over and over.

Brand New is a much more personal adventure I go on. Often. Something about their songs rings true to me- Like i can taste the anger swelling up in their lungs, or the angsty noise they need to let out, without being angsty. I don’t expect most people to like them, but that’s ok-I don’t care about popular or obscure anymore. While you might listen to bands that don’t exist yet, I’ll keep rocking out to music I like.

Sorry for the tangent. The ECH site is almost done, and it’ll be good when it is. 50+ hour weeks is getting to me, and this one is already at 18- and it’s only monday. At this rate, well, I’ll be dead soon.

The past few days have been good, but extremely busy. Between work and trying to have some fun, I’m spent. Friday, i went out and picked up a book from the bookstore, written by Arthur C. Clarke,  mostly because I’ve heard nothing but incredible things. More importantly than that, however, was the kid talking on his phone at the bookstore. He was talking about everything from tantric sex to him getting free food from work.

The last part was especially entertaining, because he was trying to convince a girl (I presume)  to move in with him, and that food wouldn’t be a problem because he could just bring it home from his work. I want nothing more than to be able to talk to this girl, and warn her against making the biggest mistake of her life, namely, moving in with the guy who’s future is in the service industry.

After the bookstore, I went and saw Funny Games, a pretty ridiculous film. It also marked the first film i saw alone- which was interesting for me. Being an indy movie, I got some premo  people watching time, and have drawn some conclusions about what I assume are film students. If you want to fit in with them, heed the following advice:

1. If you do not have a beard, your hair must be long, curly and unkempt.
2. At least one member of your group, preferably more, must wear a vintage blazer. Camel is standard.
3. Hipster glasses are even more necessary than the blazer.
4. If there is a girl in your group, she can be only one, and walks behind everyone else. She must also wear leggings.
5. Disagree with your friends about movies constantly. “Fuck” is a popular word.
6. Sneak in your own snacks, then complain about piracy 30 years later.
7. If you have a beard, you must have a round face. No Gandalfs here.

Saturday night, I hosted a little ol’ party. I’ve also learned a few things from this, but the most important is the fact that I always end up with more beer than when I started. Of course I usually have more stains on my carpet as well- but that’s inevitable, I suppose. I also learned that Brian has an undying love for Guacamole. It’s like he seeks it out, and marks then second straight party where I was unable to eat enough of my own food. This is not Brian’s fault mind you- I’m pleased my food is gone.

Sunday (Happy Easter!) was filled with work and cleaning. Probably an even split.

We’ll see how this and next week go- because I’m tired and losing my mind.